this is my road to my redemption

 My life as a single unattached woman has been rather uncomplicated as of the last couple of years.  However, I’ve learned in the last couple of days that I still carry a lot of regrets and what ifs; and along with those, a lot of insecurities. One of my closest friends has told me that I tend to hold back even if I wish for something.  Which, I realized, was right.  My lack of self-confidence has been ingrained for so long that I cannot actually believe in my capabilities and making my dreams possible.  It’s like having a lifelong affinity to the impostor syndrome. So today, after confession, I opened my heart and tried to face the truth of what I really wish for in my life.  Since God is omnipotent, He should already know what was in my heart, right?  What I realized today is that I am lonely, and that I really wanted to have someone by my side as my partner in life.  The last few years have helped me realize that I don’t need to be in a relatio...

This year has been a year of reckoning.  Everything I tried to ignore about my health has punched me in the face and I was forced to confront them one at a time. More recently, I had to undergo a gynecological procedure that required me to go under for about an hour.  In the days - actually, weeks - before it happened, I had been obsessively listening to the Hospital Playlist soundtrack.  As I went under, I was thinking about how there’s a curtain draped between my face and the site of the procedure and how it’s similar to what I see in the drama’s surgical scenes.  The next thing I knew, I was roused from a pleasant dream of what I would presume was all about Hospital Playlist, and I grinned at the OR like an idiot with the joy of coming back to the world bursting inside of me. They said Hospital Playlist is a drama that heals.  Its profound impact on so many people is undeniable, whether because of its influence on organ donation drives, its spotlight on the m...