this is my road to my redemption

Stop this train I want to get off and go home again I can't take the speed it's moving in I know I can't But honestly, won't someone stop this train - John Mayer , Stop This Train I am so ready to leave 2013 behind. All these major upheavals have made me realize so much that I am not ready to realize about myself - one of them, me not being ready to realize these things. I feel as lost as ever, not having an anchor or a compass or whatever, just floating along taking whatever is coming and taking shelter from fire and brimstone the best I can. It is no way to live. I don't believe in resolutions anymore - anyone who has problems with self-discipline gets disillusioned at some point.  But I can't help hoping, and try to plead my case to Someone to show me how to take charge of my life. Bring it on, 2014.  We'll see who wins this round.

So much wasted in the afternoon.  - John Mayer , Clarity   It's rare that I enjoy a great part of an album enough that I consider that entire album as a favorite.  For example, I loved Smashing Pumpkins back in high school but I don't love Siamese Dream in its entirety.  John Mayer's Heavier Things is one of my favorite albums in the world.  I liked John's music back when Room for Squares came out, but Heavier Things and Continuum made me admire him even more as a guitar player and composer.  A lot of the songs on both albums resonated with me, up to now; in fact, many of his lyrics have found their way into my old blog posts and Facebook status messages.  But between the two, I will always enjoy the collection with a more upbeat tone, which is just my natural preference.  Listening to the lyrics, though, reveals the subject matter as far from upbeat.  It makes me really happy that John has recovered enough to embark on a new tour soon. ...

Today was a public holiday, and I had decided to stay in the city and not go home for the day.  My mum implored me to try and have a good amount of rest.   I wish I could have a day where I could just lay in bed all day, but most likely I would end up at a mall out of boredom. We all have friends who serve different purposes in our life.  There are toxic friends, and there are good time friends.  Then there are the friends who are keepers, and I met with two of them today. The second one I met with today is one of my oldest friends.  We officially started our friendship on the first day of high school.  Our friendship had experienced rough sailing, like most teenage friendships have, and we haven't been close for many years when we started making our way into the world.  But despite the distance between us, whether physical or otherwise, I know that I can rely on our connection and common understanding when I needed her kind of wisdom.   ...

“Pag bata ka, masyado kang madrama. Pagtanda mo, saka mo lang ma-rirealize na ang corny mo.” * — Ramon Bautista, Bakit ‘Di Ka Crush ng Crush Mo   Recently I had a major upheaval in my life. I needed to sort out my feelings, and it occurred to me that blogging about it might help. But I looked back at my old blog, which has not been updated in the last two years, and I realized two things: 1) how different I am now from who I was then, and 2) I want to leave my underlying bitterness - so evident in my old posts - behind. Hence, I present to you my new blog. I no longer want to be the writer who writes for herself and pours out her bitterness for the world to ignore. Now, I want to write how I feel, but for me to understand it and share with people. If Sara Bareilles can put out a brilliant sophomore album with all the heartache in her lyrics, so should I be able to put down my fears, confusion, regrets and guilt, without driving people away. I will be 35 in six mont...